Planes & Premieres & Evermore*

I've been seeing a lot of the top sides of the clouds lately. Watching those forces build - into stretched formations.

Watching them rip apart, by the plane's assurance and roar. 

Watching the majesty of a view I shouldn't be seeing really. 

Pushing down the fear that we're plummeting.

It's just a quiet plane filled with travelers less lonely than I've always been.

So I think of all the other moods and memories I've had while flying this back and forth - of everyone I'm always leaving.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Sometimes you run zig-zag and up&down a house FILLED, for absolutely no reason but to feel a third rush. To see more of the thousand interactions all happening at once. Cause it just can't be this great. 

It really is this great. 

When we all - dance with every partner specifically, yell to every song, jump for every shot (slap the bag), yearn for every eloquent toast, beg for every kiss, ache for every desire gone astray in someone else's glance…..and quite literally tear into each other till it bleeds down the back….because we want, & want, & want. 

There's still, astonishingly, more love to give. More to make. 

It's a feeling - nearly a garb - so very special….like those long-gone first glances you think you remember right (when you were falling). It feels like, if you could - you'd dip in and embrace every friend you see in that room, every hair of carpet, every song, and incense and crooked frame, and views from the leafed windows - - all in one great scoop. And giggle. 
It'd taste so good. 

And if you could you'd make it last forever this time. 

It used to feel like it would be forever. 

It used to be all of this, just like this.

Then the hours pass, the couples decide, and the groups begin to disappear….

And I've found myself - listening to the hoarse voices that for the past year have only been together in fabled nightmares of my pleasure. I listen to the beauty of who they are, and how they hurt, and relate, and how we all felt something at the same time, a time ago. 

And that's just it. 

Resting my head on the kindest familiar shoulder, while nature(!) is heard through the outside, and cigarette smoke catches the heat and expands desperation….I think that we all decided once, at different seconds, that this was home. 

I've been trying to feel the same about anything else, ever since.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Then it's just past. 

It's watching beauty, then it's gone. It's us and then…

Then I'm listening to the door softly closed behind, thinking I already missed it all. Already missed waking up to the still-close night of dear old friends - its too soon come and gone. 

The weekend come and gone. 

Another set of portraits, another Happiest Night in my sweet - our sweet - Neverland……another goodbye for now. 

Another plane ticket. 

I never wanna grow up. 

My love letter now has come and gone. I'll love you all still evermore. 

To me, you've  been enchanting 
in the rise - just as you've been in the tragic fall I'm always too often in. 

Daily headphones: Nightmare&the Cat's "Dessert Heir", Billy Joel's "Oh What a Night" and KeSha's "Blow"