Collision

I'm fighting every natural urge to run. 

Summon the wind to bluster on command - with the swoosh-flick of a hand - and cause a premature rustle .....that no one else really could notice. 

A flight for no - yet - reason. 

The lights are finally fixed in the hall. There's a new scent lingering in my memory to remember. Over-remember.

And I don't know if I've ever said anything truly captivating -

- especially when, especially when....oh hell. especially when we COLLIDE - 

Especially when I try so very hard to conjure up the potions that came like dripping sweat so often othertimes. 
Oh the pounding sweat of it. - we want too much of it. 
Or have we actually - instead - forgotten the real Want? 

A few nights ago...I was standing on a wide, uneasy rooftop - fighting the fear of the height (and other things a bit closer)- and seeing the expanse of the flat city in every twirling direction. 

.............The wind was roaring the change in season and gently moving my wool dress and strands of hair and metal things. 

.............But I was thinking all the while - staring at the white+yellow+green lights - at just how odd it was that miles away my hometown was battling the storm; that miles away could only exist as a memory standing there.

Everything was just a memory. 

Though it stood still. Though he grabbed my hand later. 

That there was something new, while there was something still so brutally bruised, - that there was something to smile about just as there was something to be so very sad about for quite a long while. 

There were all of these things waiting to collide then -  that've hit the ground (since). 

Just as there's so much still brewing out at sea. 

.............While I leave the TV on not to hear the lack of voices. And forget and remember a thousand times the great hum of that great city right outside and all around.
The great aimless - something?-less - expanse of where I am fumbling around -
for the desire to rise up again and breathe a heavy, smelly, steamy breath all upon it all so beautifully.