I clutched my skin, and I dreamed the other night that they laid me in a wooden canoe. The inside of it was curved to a desolate forced mold, and a thousand dents filled all the sides, and all the bottom.....like a thousand migraines, like a thousand hammer-head dents that form a wooden Cabin in The Woods - the very planks of a carcass,....far from the true and beautiful thing it comes to symbolize vaguely.
Vaguely, there in the canoe I was loosing all my memories.
The heavy and white embroidered sheath they'd laid me in was the only thing my fingers could touch, and feel - though the knobbed dents dug into my back and my elbows. It all only just ached a long time ago, past the fence of knowing when..
Couldn't speak, couldn't dare move - it was so quiet.
I blinked though, -- heavy and slow, in the chilled and humid mist all around.
And just then, their hands slid the Viking canoe over glassy pebbles and out...-into the lagoon leading to the ocean.With the gentle heave the pungent flowers tucked around me bent their heads and easeddd.
And I was drifting, I knew that, but everything was so calm and so slow.
So what was it that was slidingg awayy in the smallll wake of the canoe?
It was sliding past me on the other sides of my encasement, wiping clean my heavy head somehow.
Erasing the origin of what might have been-faith?, life?, and...Erasing...Erasing all the time...
And I was letting it...I was letting it...
I was farther and farther....away........and I couldn't remember the meaning of so many cherished words.
'Many words....many words...
......The current underneath picked up. And I rocked laterally as the dark wind 'spun round overhead.
And the rocking
turned to shaking,
shaking,...
'Many words...many words...
the shaking,
the shaking...
SHAKING....
AND SHAKING...
and BAM! a sudden lurch spun the entire tomb with such force that the heads of flowers were scattered far across the water's surface.
And I plummeted into icy green water with such a clean swoosh
of waves
and gasp
and fabric
and up-stretched arms, and long curls,
that it felt....effortless.
But I felt the piercing water and the algea all around. Felt IT hurling back to me.
(And I woke, I guess)
The alarm clock beamed a putrid-orange time, in the silvery-grey light shining through the apartment. Cars honked outside, in the heaves of the city's dawn.
The sheets were warm, and soft, so I eased back in...
Citation: Top image: Grimshaw
Daily headphones: Matt White's "Too Many Lover's", Paolo Nutini's "Still Crazy", Florence&the Machine's "Girl With One Eye" and Rihanna's "Only Girl"
