first southern night

That first warm southern night without anything of just before. How the sky had these levels of radical, historical, old piercing blues forming and I felt like a crash of all the women I’ve tried to be. 


I could still feel if I tried, like the aches and pains of you trying to try, but instead I just feel the sweat on my skin for the first time this thrilling summer, and the fresh clothes, and the lightening bugs...like I woke up to all new sensations, like winter was just yesterday. The yesterday’s winter of bending, and racing across the snowy city, and thinking that Metra track headed to your city, any way it turned. 

Now there’s just a free open space of the smells I can breathe in again. Of the nights that used to be something else..., and that strange blue sky changing, and this balmy neighborhood that’s still exotic in some lingering way...and a repeating pattern I’m determined to shake this season and every one later. 

Like a new dream, in a newer one, here goes the fun :). 

Just thoughts - Boston 4

Now let's talk about last night.
Are there words yet, again? Cause I only remember colors and I, -haha- can't stop the smile at the turn of every unrelated thought.
    It's all "just happy thoughts" blended at night. It's all the best I've ever seen of you, who you are, and what's formed together behind that handsome face.

I should get it together. I should start organizing back to cool factor - I should ready for the time between again... with vague metaphors and work around distractions.
    But if all I ever say right, are a few words of this space, then I've done a goodness to the future. To the heart, and all it has ahead; unknown.

Let's remember how we slept,
where we placed one another in movements
- and what the morning sounded like.

Let's meet at the top of something, or say something like that... But ya know, wherever it goes doesn't matter for now - cause for nights ahead I'll sigh asleep thinking of that memory. I'll see it on the seas, I'll hear it in the rhythm, and I'll think of you that way.

Because I laugh at all the ways you just exist, and you never quite get my joke. But we walk through city after city with everything to say and no way to choose.
So lead where to follow, or look at me with that happy goodbye - it'll all work out either way.

    For now, this morning in your arms will be my happy place for all of what I can see onward, into summer.








. . .

How's that for destiny

It's gone now. The last shadows of the darkness, the last tiny corners of the bad - I feel so sweet - it's been healed.

That was it, and a whole story more. (Later.) But let's take a moment for the equal balance found. The dreamily, romantically, lived opposite of all the pain of another woman who I was. Here, there were,- are- open hearts, kind soft touch and hours long expression. Here it's so real and so good.

Because I believe everything "sits upon" opposites. And still never thought I'd feel the right side of what was the cold side. Yet here it was - my hand holding a racing heart and mine, ...mine's a completely different surface of light.

Now, I don't ode this to an old beast - I say it to archive that the "soft spring nights" of my hoping fantasy - I just had. I just travelled years of time to more joy than it ever growled I wasn't worth.

How's that for destiny?









. . .