The Stage.

There was a time when we were all playwrights, and all the world could shine and shineeee, on—ward into the skies of our rafters and our rooftop laughters. 

We’d stomp booted feet on old, worn, soft - beautifully beat hardwood floors - that creaked - and we… Well we danced upon ourselves and our discovery of all of that. We danced and shouted - for bloody volume of the night - the right and good of it all then. 

The world blossoming and the words following — from onto stage the next day and back again — because we were Company. We were bred and we were lead into our inner workings, our inner demons, our inner joys - whether they were fleeting, or the truest nature I’ll still never knew. 

But there I know you. 

There I know the vague wild dreams of who I could be — back when it could be a journey you’d say you’d go on, and then you’d go another way. 

In all the ways it twisted round the happiness…. and happy wasn’t it? That was it. I’ve only just remembered it. 

Remembered not the place but the who, and me, that I was right then in that place - dream up to be - it’s getting closer. The pages have sure as those flown by and - wow - look around at what we’ve seen. 

You and me inside my head, the then and now and childhood and adult - and how that decade does commit. 

The stories how they changed, the eyes and wears, and the wrinkles forming there upon your sight —  war struck and still going, and the devastating desert of awhile, but I can see. 

The world upon which we built our thoughts, and our fashion and our everything - it can be seen. 

What was once a roar, yes. is now a whisper but so it does whisper… it’s gone from haunting demon, or fickle friend - to ah, lover once again. Whisper upon our pages in our places and let us be players once again. 

. . .

Whew!

There was a spider on my bed so I didn't sleep. So let's read this fast. hey! Ran circles round the past across blue lines instead. Thought how WOW!-great this all is. Thought about the rain too, and the dumping you, and it's all just making my mind allergic and delayed. Still it's rampant and dismantic. (Not a word? ah hell) Need the music and the dance, need the frantic and the pace.
Neeed a few weeks sleep, but I'm always saying that...
Here we go - fumble down and round with me tonight and let it roll across the records' rhythm. Let everything I've said and tried to say but not, restart and let it play. Play. What fun that is, that I know again and trouble it is, I know that too all daylight long. And day it's been, day gone again. Be again! Round and round and oh, I need a drink... (I should say) and maybe true. Maybe woo and hoo and hoorah what a change....transfor-mation all it's been. So let's go! Race across the street and wake with all the jokes and thought and hoo all surmised in sleep - and revel and revive and just go with it dammit! It's not that scary. Commit, commit to the work and the work and coming change to heat and legs and sweating proof of...proof of life and liberty and me just going going - mind gone going.
sigh.
Sleep and know me better.








. . .

New England.

originally written some time ago. 



I didn't think about the sharks!
In New England on the Cape, on a sweltering night - that should've been cool and fine - I thought about the ocean. Raced to it rather. Ached for it. Got on the plane in thoughts of it!

Then it looked - like nothing Baltimore had ever been (or anywhere I'd been) -
yes, the waves could hardly be seen (though they rocked suddenly with starry near dawn fury) -
yes the fleeing it had been from where we'd been (the party still going with sounds caught suddenly around and gone again),
- but the feeling; the current's force of pushhh - then steady, - of me. But it was blinding - like a spelled, nearly purple fog-hot-night. A reach into the distance, that I need hours still more back with, to understand. It blended and sprayed and hurled itself.
And I was free.
There will never be enough words for that simple phrase just then.

Always quit and drive - or fly or dive - or simply run like hell into some landscape abyss. Cause I did. No job ahead, completely unemployed by force of choice and reason and.. we won't get into that - I'd escaped hell (knew that much) and it was beautiful to see.
To be between - like the waves, and my soaked red dress, and embrace -- between everything. Between one great emptiness to another, and there was the ocean.
Maybe I'd swim to the edge of where all our stories are - maybe I'd lie on the Cape sand for days - grow ruddy and mossy - maybe I'd go back and sign a contract.

But all I wanted was that ocean then. And some friends, and some joys, and ah! the celebrations (floating back) for the cause of course! The love after all was mighty.

But that ocean that night - and the mind it filled me with. I want always that, going forward, my direction to where and none and artistry.
I want always to reawaken there (let's plan it) - and know- we must all travel.  Milesssss into each other's tent and KNOW. Quit and leap and dive and whooooshhh - swoosh - whoosh - swooosh.
There it began.

And I the lover there, cause life just goes. 




- *Moved 1 month later. 




. . .