4/6/17

New England.

originally written some time ago. 



I didn't think about the sharks!
In New England on the Cape, on a sweltering night - that should've been cool and fine - I thought about the ocean. Raced to it rather. Ached for it. Got on the plane in thoughts of it!

Then it looked - like nothing Baltimore had ever been (or anywhere I'd been) -
yes, the waves could hardly be seen (though they rocked suddenly with starry near dawn fury) -
yes the fleeing it had been from where we'd been (the party still going with sounds caught suddenly around and gone again),
- but the feeling; the current's force of pushhh - then steady, - of me. But it was blinding - like a spelled, nearly purple fog-hot-night. A reach into the distance, that I need hours still more back with, to understand. It blended and sprayed and hurled itself.
And I was free.
There will never be enough words for that simple phrase just then.

Always quit and drive - or fly or dive - or simply run like hell into some landscape abyss. Cause I did. No job ahead, completely unemployed by force of choice and reason and.. we won't get into that - I'd escaped hell (knew that much) and it was beautiful to see.
To be between - like the waves, and my soaked red dress, and embrace -- between everything. Between one great emptiness to another, and there was the ocean.
Maybe I'd swim to the edge of where all our stories are - maybe I'd lie on the Cape sand for days - grow ruddy and mossy - maybe I'd go back and sign a contract.

But all I wanted was that ocean then. And some friends, and some joys, and ah! the celebrations (floating back) for the cause of course! The love after all was mighty.

But that ocean that night - and the mind it filled me with. I want always that, going forward, my direction to where and none and artistry.
I want always to reawaken there (let's plan it) - and know- we must all travel.  Milesssss into each other's tent and KNOW. Quit and leap and dive and whooooshhh - swoosh - whoosh - swooosh.
There it began.

And I the lover there, cause life just goes. 




- *Moved 1 month later. 




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