That Ghost

I think I've been a ghost for all my life. I feel the doors stay locked, and the walls hold still.....as I pass through. Pass the milestones that would have been there, could have been the leap into one place or the other. Coming alive or sleeping; affirmative. 

An easier account to retell gracefully. Gracefully live, just a little. Commit only to the ease of just a little. Funny little visibility.

Look at the only thing to ever almost love back, the only thing I can still say I love... Lovely lines are dark and scratched. The lovely leaves are heavy enough to drown. The lovely lighting enough to disorient. 

And it grins for me.

And it feels like all the places that my hands skimmed. Dirt under fingernails, the paint, the bruises. 

The click-click-

The debris of what we never understand. Ivan Illyich's one-hand up. We'll greet it too.

And with Purity-all can all dance together-in some place:

                  Overgrown grass capturing the rocks, and swooshing with the waves nearby. A tall-tale time when sand and land almost merge together safely. Almost cross over to the Heaven, or a million Hells, in the rising fog. 

Steaming up from those very grains. Steaming up into the stars just opening and the day just ending. The things just being SMUDGED. The nerves just being touched with moisture. For those that exist. Twilight flickers my holographic pixels. 

Floating barefoot; pretend that the lace skirt edges actually swipe the grass---actually exist. Pretend that we dance right beneath the willow. You smile, I hold on tight...and separate funny fables go on....

But its gone again, (as predicted). I can see my hands outstretched, but they'll never really be there. 

We could never really be remembered. 

All the art burned-we burn it into existence. 

Because the heat-it feels like being alive. 

The art, it feels like we were seen.

Baltimore I've been haunting

Cake outside the cold little cellar where Gudule sits staring at a little pink slipper, in a burlap gown, gnarled speech and matted floor-length tresses....I think I've been that ghost for all my life. 

Daily headphones: Now It's Overhead's "Let Up", Kings of Leon "Where Nobody Knows", and Tracy Chapman's "Give me one reason".