Down the road

That same song was playin’, as I looked out at the early evening city and took a breath — of finally cooling air, in, atop the drying dust of the day and mud on old shoes… And I thought about what I used to hope for. That it was disappearing… in the slow lane going down the highway — with this heaviness and this new patience, it was on the journey to gone for quite some time past and now…Gone. Maybe that was finally alright. Maybe I could smile about it, cause now I'm free of it, of being trapped inside your own wish, that's failing after every risk. Maybe it was after, after all. 

Cause the hot late-summer blood in my veins, it feels like the best of who I was before everything…went differently. Differently we go after so many chances, and we let this beautiful life change us. For love, for passion, for epic unexpected thought-it’d-work nights. Ah, but the nights… Fail again into something great, lay next to me, and maybe we’ll just remember the trace of moments I know this tired body has embraced, under the stars —— and let it come alive anew — jumping-into-their-arms without looking back kind of way…

…I could go for that kinda’ choice tonight, I think, as I get back in the car and turn right for home. For running into something, for risking the full throttle of what we have of roaring insides still. Still, after another day that felt like a year, burning alight a night, before that call at dawn — could be something. Really something we could have. Something for the next day. 

For now I’m not sure of the next words — I forgot them all this long strange summer along with everything — and now it tickles on my fingertips and the questions not asked on my lips, to talk of everything next. So what is everything now? Maybe tomorrow I’ll know… cause suddenly it’s all catching up and I’m tired. Letting the eyelids fall with the Book of Then put to bed. The hopes that never were that don’t survive. Everything that went differently…even in the place, that deep forest, that I loved, where I fell in love all those years ago — there was nothing to feel of before. There the hopes fell into the sand and I didn’t notice. 

So goodnight to that ever after and this tiresome day, there’s a beautiful morning coming in hours, even if I just sleep till then and wait…



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