Think my Soul went off somewhere else a few months back. Back to a hiding place created in childhood. Finally realized how it had been missing --- been so eerie quiet in my heart beats.
Laid on the cold tiles last night trying to breathe slowly. Exhale… and inhale….
Feeling the panic rise again at the waves of….I don't know, life.
Body learned after so many times an instinct; a dread of early tremors. Taught the connection of love to loss.
Ain't that an awful thing. Been trying to teach it otherwise for all the years since that earthquake.
So give me Time after all. Cause I've been begging for everything else. // Pour me the deepest tablespoon of thick ameythst-colored liquid and let it drain into my bloodstream. Let it fix the cracked throat and cracked mind altogether.
I don't know if I had the answers all along, or never ever once. Because everything of memories of a past life --- the sensations ---- seems as if they never were. A forgetfulness has settled quietly, without even realizing, above the raptured break. Above the end. It's the time of year when ice does that too; above broken holly branches and everything --- gets stuck.
----
So if you find yourself out at sea on a cold snowy night where the waves have so much extra force --- and there's a magic you suddenly feel....Try to catch it in a big fishing net -- my soul --- and come on home.
Open the door to find me waiting in a room so blue-dark, -- where corners & drapes & sheets that once filled with reflections by candles and burning sage --- ….and fill it with light again. Bring her back to me wherever she's gone because I'd forgotten the way so long ago…
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