Cut the Lines

It seems, that at the SEAMS - we're so eager for a change of life again, and I'm just, ..I just,…FEEL like it won't embark already. 

Not sure how to cut the lines. 

Cause when you're sailing a single little Laser by yourself - and the wind is finicky and too stale - you can lean yourself all the way to the side all you want. You can shake the boat and shout all you want. 

To all the "heart's content" you can make such a NOISE.

But, hah, -- you still won't be flying across that lake of waves… 

And all that metaphor doesn't even mean anything I guess…the temperatures are dropping, and the season's over. The HEAT, you may say is slipping away. 

But it's been...it's merely been begging for more instigation. 

So why don't you- my friend, and I, sit down and share some new stories. Why don't we breathe in cinnamon and exhale - and why don't you tell me something new I haven't lived. 

I'd like something I haven't lived to have - to love on it. 

Well, maybe not loved -
but in that amber, illuminated way - enjoy and be filled -
and have a NEW place to be haunted by... 

Since, oh.., all my haunts 
have been there too long. So long, ya know…I once begged: "give me all those dead things from lives past" …. but today they're just dead to me. 

They're just brittle to the touch - like the soon-to-be-browning leaves - 
they'll break when I TRY to GRASP them. 
They'll stain when I try to POCKET them. 

Pocket it. 

They keep telling me to… Change. Quit. Stay. Return. Leap. 

But I can't seem to know (just) which line to cut first. 

When I can't seem to want any particular direction. 

This endless, wistful staring up-
 at the should-be-blustery skies. 

This shouting at nothing. 

This successful loneliness so oddly played. 

Daily headphones: Indie Arie's "Heart of the Matter"