Playing cards

Last week I went to see the student-directed production of "Zoo Story", and like any good play, its stuck with me days later. But in this case, it wasn't really the ending (which I won't reveal i promise!)...it's the idea of unplanned events, and sensations. 

We all indulge in routines, obscure/validated, with the files of every past day hovering in our own shadows. Hovering inside dreams that go forgotten with the annoying alarm buzz, or dreams that we label and put on a shelf to accomplish, or, the dreams we always remember--of nights/days we have lived. These are the ones that lurk, whether in a chuckle from jokes impossible to retell, or a cold breeze that somehow reminds of an old touch, an old love, or an outfit worn on an old self. 

"when you're a kid you use the cards as a substitute for a real experience, and when you're older you use real experience as a substitute for the fantasy. But I imagine you'd rather hear about what happened at the zoo."(Zoo Story) 

....so what's more satisfying? or rather, what's more adult? what's more artistic? 

In the time we spend to walk to class, read a book outside, or just keep to whatever routine makes us feel secure...memories bubble up evil ghosts of ourselves---or righteous tales too often unwritten/unphotographed/unexplained. 

    Today I doodled instead of studying for the millionth hour, parked in a different lot...and as I drove home the long way blasting a song I know someone likes, a new trumpet man began playing outside the gallery that sometimes shows my work. 

Towsonites were going about their Mondays-but just ever so slightly there was the unexpected. 

So what's that say? - to embrace the things that feel like fantasy; like they're part of dreams you wake from in the too-early mornings...all the while knowing that the past tidal-waves up and follows you forever along? you tell me 

Daily headphones: "Galvanize" by the Chemical Brothers goes with the absurdity of 8Odegree October days, and offers relief from the mind-numbing of too much midterm studying.